There's a sort of satisfaction when you win, but it's not the same as having a challenge. The latter is a lot more fun to me. It only drives me to work harder. [The knight clicks against the board; that seems to be the last of Akira's.] But you're right, yes. That person is also here.
[He's here, and yet-
This is one of the most peaceful conversations he's had yet, since arriving in Somnius. No expectations, and no pain except for the reminder of Akechi. He's simply being seen for himself, a player a little too clumsy at the chessboard, and there's something simply refreshing about it.
It's been days, and Akira finally feels like he can breathe.]
He's here, but we haven't had a game yet. There's been... a lot of other things going on that we're working through. [An understatement, but-] I have one against him once, though, when he was least expecting it.
[Akira isn't talking about chess, because he's only gotten close a few times when Akechi didn't count on him pulling certain moves. But Dazai doesn't need to know that.]
[ There's a thoughtful little hmm at the mention of winning against him. His demeanor doesn't shift in the least, but there's a brief sharpness to his gaze, the sort of knowing look that is exclusive to those who know far more than they should.
Dazai has never lost this sort of game.
It's brief though, there and gone as quickly as lightning strikes, and one might mistake it for having never been there at all. ]
I've never lost this kind of game. There's only one person who's managed to beat me, and it was at poker. Even then, I was able to best him... If you watch me and listen to me, you'll be able to best them in no time.
[ He doesn't pry into what they might be working through, because if nothing else, Dazai does understand that. It's a sore point that one shouldn't carelessly touch upon. Instead he grins and picks up a piece, waving it a little, ]
When you're playing games like this, you don't need to worry about anything else. In fact, if you're just worried about beating someone, if you're thinking about anything else than you've already lost.
[ There's a grin, a briefly smug look that might give a hint as to just how he won that poker game. ]
[Akira's fingers find one of his own pieces, a knight that he rocks from side to side ever so slightly.
There's only one person that's ever looked at him with such a penetrating gaze. He wonders how much Dazai can see of what's locked up in his heart. Akira didn't mind it back then, and he doesn't mind it now.
It's always a nice thing, to finally be seen.]
Keep your mind clear, play the game for the game itself... [He weighs the piece in one hand, Dazai's grin in the other. It feels telling.] You speak like it's from experience.
[He laughs a little, but it's directed inwards. He can't win if he thinks about Akechi or Dazai or anyone else, huh?
Maybe that's a little familiar, in its own way, but that's too bitter of a thought for such a nice afternoon.]
I should learn from you, then. Should I be calling you "Dazai-senpai" instead?
[It's said a little jokingly, but it's genuine in its way, too. He hasn't called anyone "senpai" since before he got close to Makoto and Haru.]
[ "Dazai-senpai..." He doesn't think that anyone's ever called him that before, but then, he can't remember ever going to school. He's not sure about it. ]
That's right! You have to! You're not allowed to call me anything else from now on!
[ It's just a joke, of course; Dazai-kun suits him just fine. He takes a moment to loop back around to Akira's first statement, ]
You're right that I have experience. I've only found one person who could beat me at Poker. It was really annoying to keep losing, you know?
[ Though Dazai has a bright expression, that of someone reminiscing on a particularly pleasant time in life, ]
I was able to beat him in the end by distracting him. I'm the only one who's managed to do that.
[It sneaks a laugh out of him, bright and a little more genuine than what he intended.]
Dazai-senpai it is, then. I'll be off to a bad start if I'm deliberately disobedient from the get-go.
[It's interesting, the way he lingers on this, though. It's a loss, but it's full of fondness, like it's something to look back on and be satisfied with.
To Akira, it's a familiar feeling.]
That example was about you, then. He must've been quite the opponent, to put that sort of look in your eyes. What did he say when you finally won?
"Even if you flip a card a thousand times, and a thousand times it come out as you expected, there is no guarantee that it will come out right the 1001th time."
[ And that very response is part of why Dazai had come to care so much. Odasaku was his 1000th time. He was something that he couldn't predict, a person who would say such strange things that he couldn't predict it.
That's why there's just the faintest of fondness here now, too. It's completely different, but it's been a long time since he's had someone who would so earnestly challenge him. If they play a thousand times, then perhaps the next one will be a victory.
Dazai prefers people who think in that way. He believes this is someone who can maintain it is as rare as it is fine.
Dazai-senpai... He doesn't dislike it. ]
... If you play chess with me 1000 times, then you might beat me on the 1000th time. If you do that, hm... What will we do? There have to be some stakes.
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There's a sort of satisfaction when you win, but it's not the same as having a challenge. The latter is a lot more fun to me. It only drives me to work harder. [The knight clicks against the board; that seems to be the last of Akira's.] But you're right, yes. That person is also here.
[He's here, and yet-
This is one of the most peaceful conversations he's had yet, since arriving in Somnius. No expectations, and no pain except for the reminder of Akechi. He's simply being seen for himself, a player a little too clumsy at the chessboard, and there's something simply refreshing about it.
It's been days, and Akira finally feels like he can breathe.]
He's here, but we haven't had a game yet. There's been... a lot of other things going on that we're working through. [An understatement, but-] I have one against him once, though, when he was least expecting it.
[Akira isn't talking about chess, because he's only gotten close a few times when Akechi didn't count on him pulling certain moves. But Dazai doesn't need to know that.]
no subject
Dazai has never lost this sort of game.
It's brief though, there and gone as quickly as lightning strikes, and one might mistake it for having never been there at all. ]
I've never lost this kind of game. There's only one person who's managed to beat me, and it was at poker. Even then, I was able to best him... If you watch me and listen to me, you'll be able to best them in no time.
[ He doesn't pry into what they might be working through, because if nothing else, Dazai does understand that. It's a sore point that one shouldn't carelessly touch upon. Instead he grins and picks up a piece, waving it a little, ]
When you're playing games like this, you don't need to worry about anything else. In fact, if you're just worried about beating someone, if you're thinking about anything else than you've already lost.
[ There's a grin, a briefly smug look that might give a hint as to just how he won that poker game. ]
no subject
There's only one person that's ever looked at him with such a penetrating gaze. He wonders how much Dazai can see of what's locked up in his heart. Akira didn't mind it back then, and he doesn't mind it now.
It's always a nice thing, to finally be seen.]
Keep your mind clear, play the game for the game itself... [He weighs the piece in one hand, Dazai's grin in the other. It feels telling.] You speak like it's from experience.
[He laughs a little, but it's directed inwards. He can't win if he thinks about Akechi or Dazai or anyone else, huh?
Maybe that's a little familiar, in its own way, but that's too bitter of a thought for such a nice afternoon.]
I should learn from you, then. Should I be calling you "Dazai-senpai" instead?
[It's said a little jokingly, but it's genuine in its way, too. He hasn't called anyone "senpai" since before he got close to Makoto and Haru.]
no subject
That's right! You have to! You're not allowed to call me anything else from now on!
[ It's just a joke, of course; Dazai-kun suits him just fine. He takes a moment to loop back around to Akira's first statement, ]
You're right that I have experience. I've only found one person who could beat me at Poker. It was really annoying to keep losing, you know?
[ Though Dazai has a bright expression, that of someone reminiscing on a particularly pleasant time in life, ]
I was able to beat him in the end by distracting him. I'm the only one who's managed to do that.
no subject
Dazai-senpai it is, then. I'll be off to a bad start if I'm deliberately disobedient from the get-go.
[It's interesting, the way he lingers on this, though. It's a loss, but it's full of fondness, like it's something to look back on and be satisfied with.
To Akira, it's a familiar feeling.]
That example was about you, then. He must've been quite the opponent, to put that sort of look in your eyes. What did he say when you finally won?
no subject
[ And that very response is part of why Dazai had come to care so much. Odasaku was his 1000th time. He was something that he couldn't predict, a person who would say such strange things that he couldn't predict it.
That's why there's just the faintest of fondness here now, too. It's completely different, but it's been a long time since he's had someone who would so earnestly challenge him. If they play a thousand times, then perhaps the next one will be a victory.
Dazai prefers people who think in that way. He believes this is someone who can maintain it is as rare as it is fine.
Dazai-senpai... He doesn't dislike it. ]
... If you play chess with me 1000 times, then you might beat me on the 1000th time. If you do that, hm... What will we do? There have to be some stakes.