[His hands are uncharacteristically still. In a few short words, Akira has grasped more of Dolph's story than he has up til now, and it's more grim than he anticipated. Of course things are good here, where it doesn't feel like everything is against him.]
Some people... They hate it here. They think of this place as a cage. [Eren. Akira doesn't disagree; too much of him can't stand being backed into a corner to feel complacent. And yet...] But I think even a cage can have miracles inside of it.
[He knows it can. Lived it, back home, and he's watched it happen again now.]
No matter what tomorrow brings, you still have precious things you found here.
[ his voice is firm on that. any place that locks you in. never offers a choice. never lets you leave. it may be a nicer cage. a favourable one. but dolph knows enough of cages, pleasant and cruel, to feel the bars. even the virtual reality he stepped in . . . that was a cage too.
it was just a cage with . . . alex. the alex he knew. the alex he loved. the alex he always thought existed. the good man. the man who loved him. a fantasy.
but that has often been the case with people loving dolph.
still. he takes some pity on akira now. ]
You're trying to convince of life. Of more. But I know all that. And I know the end. I hold both in equal measure. There's no escape.
Let it go, Akira. You have other people to see to. I'll be here. Until dream's end.
There's only one thing that really can be, can't it.]
Maybe that's true.
[Maybe it is. Maybe Dolph has seen it. Maybe Akira has, too; in one sense for himself, and in the realest sense for someone else.
But Akira exists again. And that person lives and breathes again, too.
He can't talk about it now. Not now, not in front of Maruki, and maybe they're things he shouldn't say to Dolph at all. But it still burns in his chest, that he's here for a reason.]
It doesn't mean I won't see to you, too. [His fingers finally move; one of them, just the index, with the slowest rhythm.] I'll wait with you, even if it's only to the end of the dream.
[He's here in this place for a reason, but it doesn't have to be for the reason he was called here.
There is someone he will save. And if he can overturn that fate...
Maybe he'll fail. But it doesn't mean he won't fight, even if it tears his soul in two. And it doesn't mean he can't try for Dolph, too.]
[ perhaps he should take that seriously. it is earnest. meaningful. it's not lead in his heart and in his chest, though the ache remains. or perhaps that's just the old phantom pain of being shot in the chest. tears mingled with the sound of gunfire. but maruki is here, listening to every word so dolph has little to fear. maruki wouldn't let anything happen to akira.
when the dream ends, maruki will claw them out. akechi and akira. maybe eren too. he doesn't know if they ever discussed it. they probably have.
but. not dolph. he'll be here. he has nowhere left to go.
still. it is a promise. an oath. dolph has made the same for people here. and he meant them. he always had. so he understands this too. it's strange, seeing the similarities. like a ghostly imprint. like the person he —
never mind that. ]
It's a long time away, I'm sure.
[ he smiles, reaching out to grasp his shoulder lightly. ]
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Some people... They hate it here. They think of this place as a cage. [Eren. Akira doesn't disagree; too much of him can't stand being backed into a corner to feel complacent. And yet...] But I think even a cage can have miracles inside of it.
[He knows it can. Lived it, back home, and he's watched it happen again now.]
No matter what tomorrow brings, you still have precious things you found here.
no subject
[ his voice is firm on that. any place that locks you in. never offers a choice. never lets you leave. it may be a nicer cage. a favourable one. but dolph knows enough of cages, pleasant and cruel, to feel the bars. even the virtual reality he stepped in . . . that was a cage too.
it was just a cage with . . . alex. the alex he knew. the alex he loved. the alex he always thought existed. the good man. the man who loved him. a fantasy.
but that has often been the case with people loving dolph.
still. he takes some pity on akira now. ]
You're trying to convince of life. Of more. But I know all that. And I know the end. I hold both in equal measure. There's no escape.
Let it go, Akira. You have other people to see to. I'll be here. Until dream's end.
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The "end".
There's only one thing that really can be, can't it.]
Maybe that's true.
[Maybe it is. Maybe Dolph has seen it. Maybe Akira has, too; in one sense for himself, and in the realest sense for someone else.
But Akira exists again. And that person lives and breathes again, too.
He can't talk about it now. Not now, not in front of Maruki, and maybe they're things he shouldn't say to Dolph at all. But it still burns in his chest, that he's here for a reason.]
It doesn't mean I won't see to you, too. [His fingers finally move; one of them, just the index, with the slowest rhythm.] I'll wait with you, even if it's only to the end of the dream.
[He's here in this place for a reason, but it doesn't have to be for the reason he was called here.
There is someone he will save. And if he can overturn that fate...
Maybe he'll fail. But it doesn't mean he won't fight, even if it tears his soul in two. And it doesn't mean he can't try for Dolph, too.]
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when the dream ends, maruki will claw them out. akechi and akira. maybe eren too. he doesn't know if they ever discussed it. they probably have.
but. not dolph. he'll be here. he has nowhere left to go.
still. it is a promise. an oath. dolph has made the same for people here. and he meant them. he always had. so he understands this too. it's strange, seeing the similarities. like a ghostly imprint. like the person he —
never mind that. ]
It's a long time away, I'm sure.
[ he smiles, reaching out to grasp his shoulder lightly. ]
Enjoy the dream for now.
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And yet Akira doesn't move. Doesn't fight it. Doesn't even flinch.
It's Dolph.
And Maruki is near.
And he's okay.]
I should hope so. [He doesn't smile, but there's something terribly soft in his eyes when he says it.] I have a lot more to cook for you than this.
[Long enough to learn and understand. Long enough to plan and fight.
Maybe that's what Akira would wish for, now.]
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he huffs finally. ]
Why not? Saves me the trouble.
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Good. I'll have a long list ready for you.
[More and more, til he runs out of ideas - and even then, Akira will find a way to keep going.]
wrapppp?
Then just call me over. Whenever.