[ his voice sounds so distant from himself. who is even speaking? dolph laserhawk? or captain laserhawk? it probably doesn't even matter. they were both abysmal failures. dolph couldn't even make someone love him. captain laserhawk couldn't even save a single person. ultimately, they are the same in that regard. it doesn't matter which person he wanted to be. there's no going back. there's no turning back the clock.
even now, he could be owned by someone else. all it would take is his weakness to be revealed and whatever person he chooses to be can be erased. a few strokes on the keyboard, an inserted virus and it'll be like he never existed at all. he could stand right there and it'll have as much weight as the air around.
he's standing right here and — it's unbearable. he could flicker out right now and it'll be maruki and akira in the kitchen. cooking. eating. laughing. nothing will be missed. nothing will be noticed. a ghost? laughable. he'd be lucky if he even counted as one.
but akira is still right. so dolph inclines his head towards him. he doesn't bow under the weight of those words. he can suffer that kindness. that hope. it matters. to say it at all still matters. it hasn't fallen on deaf ears. just someone who was never here at all. never meant to be.
( idly, he wonders if holloway wiped the bloody smear on the ground. did he take a pause? did he look upon it and — )
dolph just shakes his head. gives a sharp smile. ]
cw: brief mention of death
[ his voice sounds so distant from himself. who is even speaking? dolph laserhawk? or captain laserhawk? it probably doesn't even matter. they were both abysmal failures. dolph couldn't even make someone love him. captain laserhawk couldn't even save a single person. ultimately, they are the same in that regard. it doesn't matter which person he wanted to be. there's no going back. there's no turning back the clock.
even now, he could be owned by someone else. all it would take is his weakness to be revealed and whatever person he chooses to be can be erased. a few strokes on the keyboard, an inserted virus and it'll be like he never existed at all. he could stand right there and it'll have as much weight as the air around.
he's standing right here and — it's unbearable. he could flicker out right now and it'll be maruki and akira in the kitchen. cooking. eating. laughing. nothing will be missed. nothing will be noticed. a ghost? laughable. he'd be lucky if he even counted as one.
but akira is still right. so dolph inclines his head towards him. he doesn't bow under the weight of those words. he can suffer that kindness. that hope. it matters. to say it at all still matters. it hasn't fallen on deaf ears. just someone who was never here at all. never meant to be.
( idly, he wonders if holloway wiped the bloody smear on the ground. did he take a pause? did he look upon it and — )
dolph just shakes his head. gives a sharp smile. ]
Can't you tell? My life's overflowing.