[ Even if he doesn't understand the source of it, Maruki can see that deep sadness over Akira's features as plain as day. He's never seen it before, nothing even close to it.
He really thought that the worst he'd ever see Akira was in that tea shop, when he was being honest about Maruki's betrayal.
This is infinitely, infinitely worse.
His first instincts whip up in him like a twister – to reach out and touch the back of one of Akira's hands, gentle. To tell him it's alright. To ask what's troubling him so much.
But it seems like Maruki is what's troubling him, and not for the usual reasons.
His brows draw down, then further when Akira clarifies the question. ]
Ah. I see. Well...
[ He's starting to feel like a fish on a line, a cornered animal. He wants to answer with mundane things – there are plenty of things he likes, and he does them all the time. Cooking for himself and others. Reading a good book on a sunny day. Hot baths, crossword puzzles, long walks.
But Akira said that he doesn't mean those simple, everyday fondnesses.
No, Maruki knows exactly what he's asking now.
The walls are closing in, and there's nowhere to run. There's nowhere else he could go, and nowhere else he'd rather be. Even now, trapped as he is by Akira's persistent, pleading gaze, he can't make himself hide away.
Maruki smiles at him, and he has no idea that it looks just as sad as the look over Akira's face, but it does. ]
I think that we both know the answer to that. I've been focused on my work for some time now, and for good reason, Kurusu. It hasn't left me with much time for anything else, but...
[ A sip of his coffee. Tasteless on his tongue now. ]
You should know that doesn't bother me. I'm not unhappy, if that's your concern.
remember when you diagnosed him with pride at the amplitheater akira <3
He really thought that the worst he'd ever see Akira was in that tea shop, when he was being honest about Maruki's betrayal.
This is infinitely, infinitely worse.
His first instincts whip up in him like a twister – to reach out and touch the back of one of Akira's hands, gentle. To tell him it's alright. To ask what's troubling him so much.
But it seems like Maruki is what's troubling him, and not for the usual reasons.
His brows draw down, then further when Akira clarifies the question. ]
Ah. I see. Well...
[ He's starting to feel like a fish on a line, a cornered animal. He wants to answer with mundane things – there are plenty of things he likes, and he does them all the time. Cooking for himself and others. Reading a good book on a sunny day. Hot baths, crossword puzzles, long walks.
But Akira said that he doesn't mean those simple, everyday fondnesses.
No, Maruki knows exactly what he's asking now.
The walls are closing in, and there's nowhere to run. There's nowhere else he could go, and nowhere else he'd rather be. Even now, trapped as he is by Akira's persistent, pleading gaze, he can't make himself hide away.
Maruki smiles at him, and he has no idea that it looks just as sad as the look over Akira's face, but it does. ]
I think that we both know the answer to that. I've been focused on my work for some time now, and for good reason, Kurusu. It hasn't left me with much time for anything else, but...
[ A sip of his coffee. Tasteless on his tongue now. ]
You should know that doesn't bother me. I'm not unhappy, if that's your concern.